Tell Her She Doesn’t Have To Try.

Author of 5 books, podcaster, parent trainer, husband and father.

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
In a world that pushes perfection and tries to convince our daughters that physical beauty is the most important thing, even if it's falsified, singer/songwriter Colbie Caillat gets it. Her latest song, "Try" left me in tears. I saw my 4 beautiful daughters in this video:

In a world that pushes perfection and tries to convince our daughters that physical beauty is the most important thing, even if it’s falsified, singer/songwriter Colbie Caillat gets it. Her latest song, “Try” left me in tears. I saw my 4 beautiful daughters in this video:

Fathers, this is for us. This is a heart cry from one father to another. We have the greatest responsibility in the world as dads of girls. We must tell our daughters that they don’t have to try! They don’t have to try to measure up to this world, they don’t have to try to be something they’re not, they don’t have to sacrifice their natural beauty to impress a culture that could turn a cold shoulder to them at any moment.

They don’t have to try because they already are! We must tell them, and show them this every single day of their lives.

What makes my daughters beautiful is something far greater than make-up, popularity, or having the right stylish looks. What makes them beautiful is their heart. Their spirit. Their God-given talent. Their laughter. Their them! (my high school journalism teacher is turning over in her grave right now).

The truth is, this world is killing our little girls. The magazine rack in the grocery store is making them feel like less of a person. They don’t have to try to be like that image. The movie screen causes them to compare themselves to what is really a very expensive filter on a very expensive camera. The images on their favorite teen website force them into a self-deprecating outlook on their life, not realizing that the stars on those sites are hiding behind a photoshop program that makes all the blemishes and imperfections disappear.

It’s not real. It’s definitely not lasting.

These voices and gravitational pulls will not stop because that’s the world we live in. But our voice must not stop either. In fact, it must grow louder. Our approval must intensify as the culture our girls live in intensifies. This is critical gentlemen. And ladies too!

From my heart I can say, I’ve missed my cue with my girls so often in the past. I’ve made my own agenda top priority. I’ve let my daughters walk past me, throughout a day, throughout a week, without telling them how gorgeous they truly are. It’s crucial that I speak up every day and let them know they don’t have to try to be beautiful, because they always have been, and they always will be.

Dads (even moms) do you need to tell your daughter how beautiful she is? What’s stopping you?

Share This Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on reddit
Share on email
Mike and Kristin Berry are the Co-Founders of The Honestly Adoption Company and have been parents for nearly two decades. They are the authors of six books, and the host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.

Sarah Gray

Sarah Gray is the executive assistant to Mike and Kristin Berry. And she is the best in the land. In addition to providing a warm and friendly response to the many emails our company receives on a weekly basis, she also manages Mike and Kristin’s speaking and meeting schedules, and makes sure that team events go off without a hitch.

Nicole Goerges

Nicole Goerges is a Content Contributor & Special Consultant for The Honestly Adoption Company. She works with Mike and Kristin as a recurring co-host for the Honestly Adoption Podcast, and co-host of Kitchen Table Talks, exclusive video content for Oasis Community, along with Kristin. She is a fellow adoptive mom, and former foster parent.

Matt McCarrick

Matt McCarrick is the Content Production Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. If you’ve loved listening to our podcast, or enjoyed any of the videos trainings we’ve published, you have Matt to thank. He oversees all of our content production, from video edits, to making sure the tags are correct on YouTube, to uploading new videos to Oasis, to hitting publish on a podcast episode, he’s a content wonder!

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson is the Community Engagement Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends the bulk of her time interacting with, and helping, people through our various social media channels, as well as providing support for Oasis Community members through chat support or Zoom calls. In the same spirit as Beaver, Karen is also passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and supported. Karen is also an FASD trainer and travels often, equipping and encouraging parents.

Beaver Trumble

Beaver Trumble is the Customer Care Specialist for The Honestly Adoption Company. Chances are, if you have been in need of technical support, or forgotten your password to one of our courses, you have interacted with Beaver. He is an absolute pro at customer care. In fact, he single-handedly revolutionized our customer care department last year. Beaver is passionate about connecting with parents and making them feel loved and encouraged.

Kristin Berry

Kristin Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Content Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. She spends most of her time researching and connecting with guests for our podcast, as well as direction, designing and publishing a lot of the content for our social media channels, blog and podcast. She loves to connect with fellow parents around the world, and share the message of hope with them.

Mike Berry

Mike Berry is the co-founder of, and Chief Marketing Specialist for, The Honestly Adoption Company. He spends the bulk of his time and energy designing and building many of the resources you see within our company, as well as social media and email campaigns. His goal is to use media as a means to encourage and equip parents around the world. He is also the co-host of The Honestly Adoption Podcast.